Since the realization that you are not a real emotion, you dissapeared like the wood turns into ashes in the fire. When I feel you coming up I try to bust you before you burst. Sometimes I manage and I feel sad that I have this anger inside of myself. But when I allow myself to be sad and dig deeper, I understand that this anger only comes from me not being able to express what I really feel.
In the believe that I built up as a child, there was no place to express what I felt without my parents getting angry. Of course now I realize this were just some drops in a big ocean of love. Yes, sometimes my parents got angry at me when I expressed my emotions, without me understanding why they got angry. Especially my father didn’t know how to read his own emotions and he didn’t know how to express them. His believe system was built on his experiences without love from his parents.”
Anger comes up when we don’t know how to read our emotions or when we don’t know how to express them. Kids that have a lot of anger problems, just want to be loved. They want to be hold and cuddles. Even though they are screaming: “LET ME GO!”.
Anger comes up when we feel that people are not listening to us, that ‘they’ don’t understand us. But the power is in our hands, not in theirs. Instead of feeling angry, we can explain our feelings, ask the other if it is understood or if ‘they’ are listening.
When we are angry at ourselves we can ask ourselves why. Why are you angry at yourself? What do you not understand of yourself? Don’t be too hard for yourself. Love yourself now and love the child in you that might have been hurt. Sit and listen to your anger and find out what it is telling you.