When I was 17 I was diagnosed with a chronic disease. A disease that fell within ‘rheumatoid arthritis’, a disease that I would carry for life, and if I was lucky enough I wouldn’t end up in a wheelchair. For years I have thought that the pain would be with me every second the rest of my life. Until I started to see things differently:
I started to be grateful for the disease: it made me move – I couldn’t sit or stand still for too long, so it made me active. But long before discovering this, I started to change my diet. I read a lot of articles about the disease on the internet (thank the heavens for technology) and how some foods were making the pain worse and some would make it less. It went on and off with the diet, because food is delicious and breaking habits is a hard one for a human being.
Long into the journey with the disease I discovered that this disease was an outcome of ‘a sexual experience’* I encountered when I was a child. And as I worked through this traumatic event the disease left my physical body. It was a deep emotional and mental journey, facing many layers that lays within experiencing ‘sexual abuse’. For my belief all diseases can be overcome if we are willing to look deep within.
* I choose here to use ‘sexual experience’ as ‘sexual abuse’ doesn’t resonate with me anymore in this time of writing. I have used those words many times in my life and I feel I have grown past them. I share this with you as I try to be as much transparent as I can be.